Today is the first day of Spring, March marks my entrance
to my third year of caring for Mom. She has vascular dementia.
She was recently admitted to the hospital for a bad UTI,
then a month in a skilled care facility for some recovery time.
Now she is home again, but I fear not the same.
She is extremely week and can not focus.
In the past when she would get up for the day she would have
such a sweet countenance..."looks like a pretty day" ,that is no longer the case. It may change with some time and some healing
but I need to wrap my head around the fact that this may be our new reality.
Can I just say, I don't like it.
I find myself getting frustrated with her and making myself angry.
I can't understand the fact that she can't understand.
It is sometimes like I am speaking a foreign language to her.
Send me your good thoughts, your good wishes,
your prayers, your good karma, your happy thoughts.
Whatever you believe in...I'll take it.
I don't want to be
ANGRY GIRL
Thank God Spring is here!
I find it hard to think of you as an angry girl. You have stopped your normal life these past 3 years, to take care of your parents, a giant sacrifice. It's not an easy thing to do. My mom passed too early (68) and I never really got the chance to take care of her. My dad remarried and his second wife took care of him as he declined. However, there was a period that step mom was hospitalized and we kids took over. Good that there are 7 of us, plus spouses, and we all took turns taking care of dad. He was in a wheelchair by that time and dreaded the thought of being alone, especially at night, so we all took turns staying over, cleaning, cooking and entertaining. We were lucky in the respect that both parents were mentally sharp until the end. Your mom is now like you were when you were born, sleeping, eating and really not interacting. But please don't think she is isn't aware. I am sure she knows what a help you are and is very grateful. Hug your sweet puppy, smell the flowers and take big deep breaths...this too shall pass. :)
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